How should I portray myself?

Had lunch w/ Jeslyn yesterday, and once again she encouraged me to write more
on my blog instead of photos w/ captions only.
So, this will be my very first attempt to write a rather long post, hopefully w/o any pictures.
Alrighty.....*takes long deep breath.......*

I'm pretty sure that people who knows me well knew that I'm an awkward person,
especially when dealing w/ social situations(call me Socially Awkward Penguin!).
I truly salute those really sociable people, who could come up w/ any interesting topics to keep conversations going.
Whenever I meet new people, all of the sudden I don't know what should I say.
It's like there's a massive black hole sucking everything out of my head, including my name.
Don't talk about strangers that I just met, even to my close friends sometimes I have nothing to talk about.
But I do believe that if we're close enough, comfortable w/ each other, it's okay not to talk at all.
Let's just have staring contest! For like, 15 sessions.

To kill the awkwardness, I normally would..
I don't know, sing/mumble random stuff, giggle like a sea lion, hopping around like monkey at the circus.
Which made myself look totally ridiculous. But amazingly, it does the trick!
Well, sometimes. People would laugh out loud, thinking I'm funny, childish, entertaining.
It went pretty well until one day, a colleague got really irritated of me doing all that.
Oh well not just because of that particular person, but also I read about something similar on blogs and magazine.
And it just strikes me.

How you want people to treat you depends on how you treat yourself(or something like that)

If I respect myself, people would respect me. In the contrary, if I don't respect myself, nobody would.
So I've been taking this into deep consideration, whether to suppress the little kid in me to
act like how normal people do, or just be myself.

Yes, what happened to being myself?? That's what people have been talking about ain't it?
What's wrong to be silly while making people laugh, making people happy, 
and heaven knows I might just make someone's day?
But of course, I would like people to respect me, take me seriously.
So I guess I will have to really behave. Like a normal person, like a 21 y/o.

But isn't it fun to be silly sometimes? I will still do this, less often. 
 Fingers crossed to that.

1 comment:

  1. Being weird is just being yourself in crowd of people who do not share the same thoughts and feeling as you.